you walk over to the chamber of secrets and whisper “i have a crush on my cousin”. the basilisk comes over to you and says “you totally misinterpreted the use of this chamber and also you’re pretty fuckin gross”
reasons to date me:
-i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes
-ive never killed a man (yet)
-i once got 95% on guitar hero
-you can play with my hair
-im cheaper than a puppy
no but people with vaginas are so badass okay
because there will inevitably come a point in all of their lives where they wakes up in a pool of their own blood and their reaction will be dammit now i have to do laundry
that is some suave superhero shit and you won’t ever be able to convince me otherwise
why do i still have to go to school i thought slavery was abolished in 1865
that’s an interesting fact, where’d you learn that?
HON HON HON I AM COMING TO FIND YOU, YOU STINKY FACED BROTHER OF MINE
HON HON BARK BARK EIFFEL TOWER CHIEN
im gonna watch madoka magica!!!!!
why did i do this. i fucked up. i fucked up. i fucked up. i fucked up. i fucked up. im so sorry. im trash.
nO PURPLE MADOKA NO
NO YELLOW MADOKA NO!!!!!!!
ITS ONLY THE THIRD FUCKING EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK
WHAT KIND OF SHOUJO ANIME IS THIS
if i haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you don’t worry it will happen